- Thought I was our neighbour.
- Thought I was a friend and had kidnapped our baby.
- Thought I was a man and had imagined having a baby.
- Thought I was a person with multiple personalities who was stuck on 'Claire Griffiths' and wouldn't move on from that 'fantasy'.
- Thought I was in coma and could only communicate with my eyes.
- Thought I was in a strange sort of game where I had to pass levels to give birth.
- Thought my baby would die soon.
- Thought a neighbour had killed my partner and baby and hit me on the head with something heavy but I survived.
- Thought my partner was poisoning me in my food.
- Thought my partner was giving me my medicine wrong on purpose.
- Thought my partner was trying to kill me and my baby.
Thursday, 13 July 2017
Monday, 10 July 2017
It's taken me more than two weeks to write this blog post, editing and re-editing, how much to share? What to say? Is it too much? Is anyone even interested? I was reminded yesterday after reading an inspiring PP blog that the reason I'm passionate about writing these blog posts of my own story is to raise awareness of Postpartum Psychosis, because if nobody is talking about it then how are you or other people supposed to realise that something out of the ordinary is happening to you? who can flag up those warning symptoms in order to keep you safe? It is an illness that very quickly spirals out of control, the longer it is left the more psychotic, distressed and dangerous you can become, which in turn can effect both your own and your friends and families health.
So here goes:
My gorgeously perfect daughter was born at 2am on valentines day 2016, I suffered a seriously sleep deprived build up to the labour due to immense pain in my hips at night, I had not slept more than a couple of hours in 10-20 days and was already completely exhausted with nothing left to give.
Unfortunately we had to stay in the hospital a few extra nights because I was having intravenous antibiotics due to the high-temperature and suspected infection. Both of my hands had cannulas and I had a catheter, which I found incredibly restrictive and invasive, because of this I just couldn't hold my baby properly or comfortably and breast feeding became just impossible! I was obsessed with pumping or hand expressing for her, it felt like it was the only thing I could do to help as she was loosing weight and my quest to breastfeed just didn't seem possible, every time I tried it was just so difficult.
I would also find time at night to obsessively write my delusional ideas down, I remember knowing that 'things got darker at night' and dreading the build up to bedtime. I was writing scribbled notes all over my birth plan papers and anything else I could find so that I would not forget the things that I thought were happening and so I could tell the midwives the next day, this writing became habitual and something that I believe may have helped me in recovery.
Monday, 19 June 2017
Saturday, 4 April 2015
Etsy shop until 12pm (GMT) on Monday 6th of April. Just use the coupon code "Rabbit" when you get to the checkout.
There are also lots more Spring and Easter sales around this weekend so I thought I'd share a few with you here.
I came across 'Thrashion' on Instagram a few weeks ago and they are having an amazing 50% off sale of most of their designs- all of which are made using broken skateboard decks! (which are otherwise thrown away!).
I have purchased a bracelet and hair clips such as these below and I can't wait to try them on:
The talented Dani of 'Lioness Arts' is having a spring knitting pattern sale over on Ravelry, 50% off using the coupon code 'SPRINGSALE50' her gorgeous designs have made me determined to take on an actual pattern in my knitting:
Lovely Kate of 'Oh Someday' is offering 20% off everything until the 5th of April in her Etsy shop which contains beautiful handmade jewellery made using a multitude of skillful techniques including metal work, macrame, wooden peices and more. Alot of Kates work is also possible to personalise, her cute macrame/metal bracelets are often emblazoned with clever and meaningful quotes:
I absolutely adore my Oh Someday walnut wooden necklace with silver inlay, it's my first call when I want to wear a chic and stylish piece:
That's it for now but there are plenty more small business's offering fabulous sales out there so keep your eyes open and please support your independents!
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
So I did it! My first ever knitting/fibre/yarn festival where I traveled further than my home town!
Edinburgh, what an experience, the place and the festival were amazing- I don't know how I got through it as I was in the midst of a horrid cold lurgy that just zapped all of my energy plus sleeping in a friends living room (thank you soooo much Nathan and Olga for putting up with us!). It was all a bit of a blur and I'm only just recovering from the final stages of the cold (I hope) so I've been in a bit of a bubble since getting home. Sadly I didn't have the time to think to take many photos so I apologise for the not great quality of the images in this post!
One major aim for me for the experience was to try and make myself (and my stall!) more portable, we were flying to Edinburgh since it worked out cheaper than hiring a car and driving up- plus saving a lot of time so everything had to fit in one hold bag plus our usual two hand luggage. This was partly achieved by commissioning the lovely 'By Hook Crochet' to crochet me some stunning bowls and trays for my jewellery to sit in, this meant I could squish them up small and sit them all inside each other.
Here's some pictures so you can see what I mean:
The other way I downsized was to use some of my containers I take my jewellery in to create height on the stall and stand things on (by covering them with cloth!) I'm not sure why I haven't thought of this before as previously I have taken tonnes of wooden boxes to stack up and create height.
Here's a picture of me with my finished stall, I'm too tired to even stand!
The festival was huge! Next time it is on I will definitely apply to be in the main hall as where I was based (the pop-up market room) was a little quiet at times, but the organisers definitely put lots of effort into trying to make us more visible! (thank you!). Every time I stepped foot into the main room I just couldn't get anywhere there were so many yarn lovers to weave my way through.
I managed to see a few booths on my sparse dashes around including 'Tilly Flop' whom I met last year at Brighton Unwind whom has some fantastic new card designs for the knitter, stitcher or crafter in your life:
John Arbon Textiles stand where they were so busy serving customers with gorgeous roving that I couldn't take a non-blurry photo:
These knitted glasses frames I found were created by the fabulous Becky Lee whom was in the 'local makers' section of the show, she designs brilliant knitting patterns that can be found here:
I came across these delicious sock patterns from C.C. of the 'Geeky girls knit' podcasts/blogs, whom will soon be having a giveaway with some things from me (thanks C.C!)
The very lovely Textile Garden twosome- Maggie and Colin, were working hard selling their popular buttons and haberdashery, their stall was packed with plenty of people filling their pots!
A special mention to Somruthai of Just Another Crafty Stuff whom since I followed her on instagram has been a big help in inspiring and supporting me to try weaving!
Just check out these yarns!!! I managed to arrange a last minute swap on the Sunday with Jon from Easy Knits (the AMAZING indie dyer) he is going to be one of the first to try a new product of mine- Stitch markers! (which I will soon feature on the blog!). I forgot to take a photo of his stall but it was just an amzing array of colour and texture, candy for the eyes!
There were so many more but this post is already vastly long so I can't include them all, however here is The amazing 'Weft Blown' demonstrating her looms which I didn't have time to try out but have been left pining for afterwards:
'Year of Craft' blog posts have inspired me even more (despite her not feeling too happy about some of what she made!). There was just an abundance of weaving inspiration in Edinburgh (including a mill right next to Edinburgh castle, and of course all the tartan!) through following people such as 'Weft blown' on instagram and thus getting deeper hooked in I have become determined to try it and perhaps even invest in a small rigid heddle loom.
In fact I'm off to Tiger today to see if they still have the very basic loom Kalee used in her experiments, (and I've learnt through her posts exactly what I need to start). So good to feel like I will be doing some crafting for myself, I'll let you know how it goes!
|Edinburgh Castle on our last night, an eery shade of green!|
Monday, 23 February 2015
I went to visit Kate and the shop just before the grand opening to have a look around. Kate has also very kindly has answered some questions for my first ever 'Introducing' blog post, a series in which I will introduce you to some pretty exciting maker/crafter/do-er type people:
Brighton. We are nestled in the North Laines, an area renowned for its
creative buzz and eclectic mix of shops.
I was definitely shown how to knit and crochet at quite a young age but I don't remember being very enamoured with it at the time and I definitely didn't get past knitting just a little square. The first project I can remember finishing was a scarf when I was about 13. I ran out of wool before
it was long enough so carried on with a completely different colour which
didn't exactly go, so it turned out pretty odd. I think I palmed it off on a
What made you want to turn your passion for knitting into a business?
It was a combination of things. I'd been living in Canada which was where I
really fell in love with knitting where there are none of the preconceptions
of who should be knitting like there still is here. And the yarn shops, oh
the yarns shops! When I got back to the UK I knew I wanted to try and get
into the industry somehow but was hard to think of an obvious way in having
had no background in it. Then when I moved to Brighton and found it really
hard, not only to find somewhere to buy yarn but also to find other
knitters, I made up my mind pretty quickly that creating a space for
knitters was what I should do. It didn't make any sense to me that a
creative city like Brighton didn't have a good yarn shop and I knew there
must be hundreds of other knitters who felt the same. So I set about doing
my market research like a good business person, met some really inspiring
local knitters, designers and dyers who gave me the encouragement I needed
and the rest is history. I hope people come into the shop, knitters or not,
and feel inspired to get creative.
|Yellow Bear Wares necklaces and bracelets in situ at the shop.|
What is on your 'hot list' knitting wise at the moment?
It hard to keep up sometimes! I love browsing patterns on Ravelry, and there
are certain designers I follow especially because their work is always so
inspiring. Over on the YAK blog I write a pattern round up at the end of
every month where I post up some of my favourite patterns that were released
during the month. I always have far too many to choose from but if I had to
pick a designer who I really can't wait to see more from it would be Dianna Walla. She has popped up in so many of the things I've been reading recently
and her designs never fail to set my mind wandering to my stash.
|Gorgeous yarns from 'the uncommon thread'|
What exciting things can we look forward to at the YAK shop in Brighton?
Classes. Our class timetable going up on our website a few days ago. We've
started out with some beginner classes to get the ball rolling but we will
be adding more advanced classes and workshops soon.
Knit night. A static feature every week on a Thursday for anyone who's in
need of a bit of social knitting time.
We also have a few events planned for later in the year including hosting
the Yarn in the City gang on Knit in Public Day.
Thank you Kate for this introduction to yourself and your shop, such a good addition to the North Laines and to Brighton as a whole, there really was a gap to be filled and the shop does it just perfectly.
As you can see in my photos Kate has exquisitely curated the shop, from the items she sells to the way she display's them amongst gorgeous furniture and props, please go see for yourself at:
16 Gloucester Road, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 4AD
If you don't live in Brighton or are too far for a visit you can see YAK online here:
Sunday, 15 February 2015
I was nominated by the lovely Kate of Actually I Do for our newly started Brighton Etsy Team Blog Hop, in which we all answer the same questions (created by Kate) so that we can get to know each other a little better and tell people about ourselves and what we are up to. Please follow the links through and you'll get a great introduction to our thriving crafty community!
What inspired you to start your business or Etsy shop?
Well to be honest it sort of happened by accident, I've been a maker for as long as I can remember, mostly making gifts for people but occasionally making things for myself, then I started making knitting needle bracelets for friends and had given some for my parents to try and sell on their stall. At that time I was an avid follower of my friend Emily's adventures into handmade selling (see her Etsy shop cuttlefishlove here). Emily makes beautiful Japanese folded flowers, an art known as Kanzashi and I could see that she was involved in a supportive network of makers here in Brighton.
|An example of Emily's Kanzashi.|
We're looking at goals in the Brighton Etsy Team this month (you can follow along with #btnetsygoals!) Can you share one of your goals for your shop for the next six months?
I missed the Etsy meeting about this and although I have made vague plans to 'BE BRAVE' as a goal this year and try new things. Apart from that I haven't actually got any specific goals yet, except that I really need to photograph stock more regularly and get my available items back up to the 100 area, it's dismally low at the moment and that does not help with views and visibility within the Etsy community. I'm cheating and adding more vague goals here but I also have aims to try and make my Instagram more chic, keeping the images of a high and consistent quality.
Last year was absolutely great, I had many unexpected positives happen without planning them (for more on that see my round-up of 2014 here) and I'm hoping that by building on my brand, working on new designs, broadening my range, being involved in the Brighton Etsy Team and sticking to BIG knitting shows (being BRAVE there!) that my shop (and I) will continue to grow and consistently make sales throughout the year. I guess one more specific goal could be to reach a previously un-found audience through my blog, I'm aiming to write about 1 post per week or fortnight, and so far I'm sticking to it!
What are you working on at the moment?
One of my being BRAVE moves has been to book myself into a few BIG knitting shows this year, the first of which I have been accepted to is the Edinburgh Yarn Festival next month, this is massive for me, travelling that far for a show and making a bigger investment than before. I'm currently getting stuck into making tonnes of new stock and sorting out my display so that it is portable enough to allow me to get all my stuff to Edinburgh and so that it looks professional and a little more chic than before. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post I have commissioned ByHookCrochet to create me a series of crochet bowls and boxes that my stock can sit in on the table, these are due to be finished this week and I'm very excited about receiving them.
If you could give other sellers or someone looking to start their own design/craft business one piece of advice what would you say?
Join a local Etsy team! It has been the most inspiring thing to help me in so many ways on my journey to becoming an Etsy shop owner, it's so good to share the highs and lows with people who are going through the same as you, it's a way of meeting a like-minded bunch of creatives and of learning more about running a creative business. I realise I'm very lucky being here in Brighton as we have a thriving group headed by a team of amazing people, who regularly put on events, talks, parties and monthly meetings, this really helps with the community feel of the whole thing, if you aren't lucky enough to have such a team near by I would suggest that you aim to try and make that happen!